🎧 Prefer to listen? Here’s this episode of Weighted Wisdom in Your Ears — with all the feeling this page can't hold.🎧
It’s a cruel joke. We think maturity will solve our issues with self-doubt, lack of commitment to ourselves, and motivation to get shit done. Spoiler alert for those of you just entering your wisdom years, it doesn’t.
Many women undervalue themselves and underestimate their abilities. Many women struggle with this their whole lives and carry it into their wisdom years. We think that as we get older that we will “outgrow” this, but instead, an aging body can amplify these feelings.
Our body starts to send warning signs. It might start with getting up from a chair at the office and having a hitch in our giddy-up; we’re a little embarrassed and frustrated as we hobble through a few (or more) steps. We think, “I’m getting older but I’m not that old yet.” We recognize it’s time to take some action on it though. Some women will even join a gym or hire a trainer, but it doesn’t stick. There may even be a few cycles of start and quit, but it never quite sticks. We get a little out of breath going to the mailbox and back – it starts with an awareness of a little discomfort and takes a couple minutes for our breathing to return to normal when we get back home with our mail. We find ourselves reaching for the handrail to go up and down stairs because our legs feel heavy and tired when they have to work under their own power. We begin to notice a little teeter in our balance when we step off a curb or walk across a rocky median in a parking lot. These are warning signs.
Unfortunately, simply being aware of the warning signs doesn’t improve the situation. As a retired physical therapist with 23 years of clinical experience, a certified personal trainer and a national board-certified health and wellness coach, I feel waaaay more than qualified to state the obvious: without consistent intervention, the warning signs just get louder and more urgent.
The inner talk becomes, “I’ll deal with it when I retire.” For those of you who have crossed the retirement threshold, you may have noticed that’s another cruel joke. Without the ongoing structure that a full-time job and family life gave us, we more often than not just don’t magically start taking care of those high value things in our life. It’s not just the aging body we’re not attending to either.
Some women make detailed to-do-lists and take great pleasure in checking boxes on the list when they change the bedsheets, wash the towels or pick up the groceries. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good checklist; the dopamine hit when I check a box is fantastic! Those checklists can make us feel like we’re being soooo productive but it’s all smoke and mirrors. Sure, we’re getting some ordinary things done which deserves recognition and a self-provided pat on the back. But more important than checking the boxes, we owe it to ourselves to take an honest look at the items on the list. How many of those items are needle-movers - high value actions we know represent a true investment in our future selves?
So many women leave the workforce with a plan or a goal. A decade later they’re still spinning on the same goal. Weight loss is the most common goal my clients have, but I see it in decluttering, relocating, socializing, engaging in meaningful work and many other amazing desires these women have. They’ve started so many times but can’t keep it going. Many clients come to me extremely frustrated. Some have become almost apathetic, “Maybe it’s just not meant to happen for me.” While the latter makes me really sad, I also recognize they reached out to me for support which means there is an ember of the fire still burning. That’s all we need.
If you’re moving toward the retirement transition or have already crossed the threshold, realize you have the power to turn your goals and plans into reality. Don’t let your future self be caught in a decade-long spin. And if you’re already spinning or even in a state of apathy, know you can still fan the flame. I cannot even verbalize how much I love seeing an ember grow into a full flame. I’m dancing in my chair with a big grin on my face just thinking about it.
When the switch flips for a client from, “I’ve tried everything and can’t seem to stay on track,” to,” I can’t believe I just did that,” that’s what fans my own flame! As if that isn’t enough, when I help one woman flip the switch, I know it ripples out to her family, friends, community and beyond, and we all get stronger. As His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama once said, “The world will be saved by the Western woman.” My business mentor and coach, Julie Ciardi of 50 Not Finished, says the world will be saved by the IGNITED woman.” I couldn’t agree more.
🔥 Let’s fan your flame!🔥
What’s burning inside of you? For just a few minutes, stop listening to your own stories about the start and quit cycles of yesterday. Start thinking about why you keep starting. More on that to come.